Women Can’t Control their Emotions: The 1st Lie about Womanhood

women displaying emotions

We know the devil is a liar, and the whole world lies in his power (John 8:44; 1 John 5:19). So naturally, if he’s lying to men about what true manhood is, he doing the same to women. In these next few articles, we’ll expose four lies women believe about womanhood, and reveal the truth.

I’m sure someone will say I can’t speak on this because I’m a man. But I’m a man of God, and God knows what his children need to hear, and he’ll use whatever gender he so chooses.

Lie 1: “You can’t control your emotions”

Emotions are a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from our circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. God has emotions and so does his creation.

Love is often called an emotion, but it’s not. Love is about character and how you treat people. For more information, click here »

While men are taught to suppress their feelings, women are allowed and encouraged not only to express them but to give into them.

I want to be clear; these are generalizations I’m making.

Girls are coddled and told, “It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be in touch with every emotion you experience.” These same girls grow into women, and this practice is never socially prohibited as it is for men.

After the age of five (or younger), boys are told, “You can’t cry anymore, big boys don’t cry.” But at any point in life, grown women can turn into little girls, pouting, screaming, crying in public—and their maturity is never questioned.

Women also use crying to manipulate, and if anyone calls out their “crocodile tears,” they’re labeled insensitive for interrupting their performance.

With more women leading America, we’ve become a culture obsessed with sensitivity and discussing our feelings. Even the men are playing along—crying in public—and becoming over emotional to win the approval of certain kinds of women who like “sensitive men.”

I’m not saying men or women shouldn’t cry in public or express how they feel, what I’m exposing is a culture of emotional immaturity that’s allowed to pass as the norm especially for grown women.

Emotionalism has become the legal right of every female no matter the time or place. She can let her emotions loose in whatever way, and let them drive her wherever they may go.

Is this a good thing? Of course not, but society has been taught to accept these behaviors as a natural part of femininity. This is dangerous because women already have an emotional weakness, which is why Satan concentrated all his efforts on Eve in his initial strategy to destroy mankind. And today, he’s the one behind this lie that women can’t and shouldn’t control how they feel or express themselves.

Satan’s subtle suggestions

When our emotions lead us, they can take us anywhere, and it’s usually on a roller coaster. When you believe you can’t control your emotions, and you make a habit of letting them lead, Satan can suggest how you should feel about any circumstance. Therefore, letting your emotions run wild makes you more vulnerable to the control of Satan. I like the wisdom of this proverb:

He that hath no rule over his own spirit [emotions] is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. (Proverbs 25:28)

No walls means no protection as Satan whispers in your ear while he watches circumstances in your in life and says, “You should feel this way, or that way.” And because you’re not monitoring your thoughts, and wearing the helmet of salvation, his words take root, and alter your state of mind. From there, you begin to sin.

When women don’t have control over their emotions, they’re more likely to be angry, sad, and, scared—all the time. They become those drama queens frequently exploding with rage. Or those melancholy ladies sinking deep into depression. Or that fearful, worrying woman, always panicking as if something terrible is about to happen.

These silly women have allowed the enemy to toss them back and forth. They’ll never reach God and grow like that (2 Timothy 3:6).

The enemy can take it far beyond mental gymnastics into the physical world where he’s actually got you experiencing physical ailments doctors can’t find the cause of. Remember, the spiritual mind controls the physical body. How many women do you know that suffer from illnesses that can’t be explained by physicians? I’d say those medical issues are demonic in origin.

This is why we must control our thoughts and the preceeding emotions, and stop Satan from injecting his will into our souls.

You know you’re in bad shape when you begin to make decisions subjectively instead of objectively. There are women upset with teachers like myself who don’t support female pastors because they’ve allowed their emotions to dictate what’s right and wrong. But this scripture comes to mind:

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

But instead of accepting what God has said, they unknowningly choose to go with the inspirations of Lucifer, and believe that God sanctioned their ministry. Men do it too—holding onto false doctrines that “feel better” rather than accepting the word of God as it is.

You can control yourself

For the Saints of God, we don’t have to be this way—being tossed to and fro by every wind of emotion that blows by. We can stand firm and be anchored in Christ.

We’re not led by our emotions, but by the Holy Spirit; and one of his fruits is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Even if a woman hasn’t been born again, she still has control over her feelings. I’ve seen women weep, but upon getting a major phone call, instantly sober up, and act as if everything was fine.

Witnessing behavior like that says women have control over how they express their emotions. If women can pull themselves out of an emotional state so fast to take a phone call, they can do it when there’s no phone call—it just takes discipline.

With that amount of will power plus the Holy Spirit, the children of God have even greater control. So there’s no excuse for any Saint to get on the “emotional roller coaster” (as the song goes), but we do it because we’re ignorant of Satan’s devices.

We can manage our state of mind. We don’t have to accept the suggestions of the enemy or allow our flesh to go down memory lane, towards darkness, sadness, bitterness, guilt, shame, or fear. We have control and victory over the lies of the enemy.

Wearing the helmet of salvation is the key, and knowing what the word of God says is the start. Here’s the biblical truth about certain emotions that seem to get out of hand (you should be able to hover or click to read them directly):

  • Fear: Proverbs 29:25; 2 Timothy 1:7; Psalm 34:4; Isaiah 41:10
  • Anger: Proverbs 16:32; Ephesians 4:26-27
  • Depression: Psalm 34:17-18, Jeremiah 29:11, John 10:10
  • Shame: Romans 10:11; Romans 8:1

Overall, walking in the Spirit will keep our emotions in check and our souls grounded in Christ.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25)

I wish all the Saints peace, freedom, and self-control in Christ Jesus.

Written by Neal Chester (Nealreal) and published March 24, 2017. If this was helpful, share it using the buttons below. If you'd like to redistribute this article in other ways, visit our terms for more information. For other inquiries, please contact us.