In this sermon, I show you how to beat the narcissist Jezebel spirit in ten steps. These have personally worked for me.
1) Start saying “No”
Start saying, “No” to their demands, favors, wants, and needs. If you have an in-living elderly parent or grandparent, find a replacement caregiver. And don’t worry about the “1 Timothy 5:8” verse. Jesus said, those who do the will of God are your true family (Matthew 12:48-50).
If your needy elderly narcissist relative doesn’t live with you, reduce the time you visit them or don’t visit them at. Tell them your visitation is based on their treatment—better treatment will equal more visits. The same applies to friends and siblings, reduce your time with them and base it off of treatment.
If you’re living with a spouse who has the spirit of Jezebel, file for separation. This isn’t divorce and it will get the attention of the abusive spouse that their behavior is unacceptable. God has called his people to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15).
If you have a Jezebelian boss or toxic co-workers, get reassigned to another branch, or another location in the building to do your work and avoid the drama. Talk to the human resources department, and at least file a complaint early as possible. If you can’t rearrange your placement, find another job or go jobless until you find a healthier work environment.
All the above will begin to starve the unclean spirit and they will begin to look elsewhere. Be aware that they may throw a temper tantrum or get passive aggressive like the child they are but consistently say, “No” and stop giving in to their demands.
2) Start valuing yourself
Start valuing your time, resources, and attention. Start rebuking any disrespect that comes your way. Replace things you would do for, or with, the narcissist with things that improve your life. Focus on a business goal, your physical and spiritual health, pamper yourself, go on a vacation, and replenish yourself because you now care more about you.
These activities will give you the perfect excuse to withdraw from the abuse and recharge—the Jezebel spirit will take notice and begin to starve.
Just become less available to the narcissist. Spend those times in prayer and in other healthy activities with healthier friends. Don’t show up to parties and gatherings the Jezebel spirit will be and just replace the time doing something healthier.
4) Go “grey rock”
Become like a grey rock. A rock doesn’t respond to the outside world and especially to the childishness of the Jezebel spirit. The narcissist feeds off your positive and negative emotions. Just as long as you’re there to supply its needs in whatever state you’re in, it’s getting fed. You must cut off their food source.
The goal is to not allow them to get you happy, sad, or angry—stay flat line—at least outwardly. Let them know they can’t get a reaction from you and they will be further starved and look for other sources of food.
5) Disconnect and have no contact
Send a letter ending the relationship not only to the abusive person in question but their friends and circle you were apart of. This is so they all know “it’s over” and they can’t ask, “What’s wrong?” and “What’s going on?” They usually know, they just want to see if you’re courageous enough to boldly say so. You are.
Also, block them from all social media accounts, email, and your phone. If this is your spouse and you have joint custody of the children, you’ll have to keep one line of contact open. Avoid them and move away if necessary. Don’t check up on them. Ignore and block the flying monkeys. Be aware that the unclean spirit will send people you both knew to get “intel,” berate you, and attempt to hoover you back into to the relationship.
Most importantly: Don’t try to prove that you’re a good person in response to the smear campaign. Don’t explain to the flying monkey, briefly share the reasoning and move on.
6) Document everything
Keep a record of emails, phone calls, letters, text messages, even use video recordings to document the abuse. These records will be helpful in divorce court, job disputes, and legal violations. It will also be helpful to you own sanity if and when they “gaslight” you. Note: Don’t allow them to shame you for secretly video recording them, you’re protecting yourself.
7) Draw strength from the Holy Spirit
Pray everyday for courage, boldness, peace, and protection. Understand that we don’t wrestle with humans, but evil spirits (Ephesians 6:12). If you believe Jesus and his angels are with you, you will be protected and will be able to rest in protection and victory.
8) Forgive and protect yourself
The Lord is our avenger. It’s written, “…Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord…” (Hebrews 10:30).
Forgiveness is the next step, if we don’t forgive, we won’t be forgiven by God. Forgiveness is about releasing them from the debt they owe you and turning them over to God. You may be angry and that’s acceptable. But you must not let your anger cause you to sin (Ephesians 4:26).
Finally, protect yourself. Get a restraining order, carry a weapon, lock your doors, and be vigilant if your abuser is also physically violent or has the nerve to send others to harm you. However, this isn’t an occasion to be fearful, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (1 Timothy 1:7).
Depending on the length and depth of the relationship, you will need to grieve. Breaking off from a Jezebel spirit will hurt them more than you but your spiritual pain may be significant.
Think of having tentacles tightly wrapped around your entire body that also interpenetrated, this is how far the spirit may have attached itself to feed off of you. Freedom will hurt, but the pain will subside. The five stages of grief are as follows:
After you’ve finished the grieving process, you’ll be in better place. Never seek to suppress your emotions (especially anger) for they are healthy and necessary for growth.
10) Join a support group
There are forums, retreats, meetups out there for support and healing, but stay on guard at these meetings because narcissists lurk there too. Finally, don’t get into a close relationship until you’ve healed completely.
For more information on narcissism, see my Youtube playlist on the subject below: